1. The First Sip
The First Sip is when you know it is going to get funny. When that first drop of alcohol hits your mouth, your mind and body are taken to a new place. You are ready to join the party.
2. The Buzz
The Buzz is the feeling you get when the alcohol finally hits you. Your whole body feels warm, cozy and dizzy. Everything seems ten times as exciting as it was a few minutes ago: music sounds better, everyone becomes more attractive, and conversations feel more and more interesting as they become much louder.
3. The Best Friend
This is the point in the night where conversations become significantly louder. Suddenly everybody in the bar becomes your new buddy and you really want to tell them your life story. Not realizing how drunk you actually are, you promise each other to stay in touch, take your new BFF’s phone number, and head to the bathroom where you forget about him/her forever.
4. The Song and Dance
This is the time of the night when your favorite song comes on and you make sure that everyone in the bar knows that you know all of the lyrics by heart. You march towards the dance floor and sing (more like scream) about 90% of the lyrics and “sippin” whatever happens to be in your cup.
“Wow, I’m actually a super good dancer” you think, while spilling the drinks of everyone around you. The dancing does not stop until you catch the eye of the beautie over at the bar and undoubtedly this is the point you reach stage number 5.
5. The Hookup
You’ve spotted a cutie, but it has to be mentioned that everybody in the entire bar is suddenly Victoria’s Secret level of beautiful. With a lot of liquid courage into your veins, you head over to meet your fate. What happens next totally depends on your drunken pick up lines and how much of the liquid courage carries the other person.
6. The Relentless Party Mode
It’s getting late but you are nowhere near ready to stop the party. You do not care if you or your friend works tomorrow, or you got an important exam coming up, now the most important thing is that this night is gonna be the best night ever! The sun does not come up for another three hours! You don’t care if your friend loses his job, your career is finished or you won’t be finishing university, you’re ordering more shots.
7. The Hunger
You suddenly realize you are starving. You cannot go another minute without getting a taco, burger or whatever is the only restaurant that is open at this hour . You try to order some food but you are so drunk you forget to put your current address, so the food is definitely going to the last address in your address list.
8. The Journey Home
Whatever happens to your ordered food you still find something to eat and it was probably half of your body weight, you slip into a food coma. But the food coma is ten times worse than usual because you are wasted. You would sell your soul to a devil just to crush into your bed. You jump in a cab and head home. The cabbie wakes you up and you stumble up your stairs and into your bed, destroying everything in your path. You are done, but you don’t have enough brain power left to think that the worst is yet to come.
9. The Regret
You wake up from a Sahara desert dream in the morning, with a pounding headache, sick to your stomach, with some food sauce all over your face. You check your phone to see thirty new numbers in it of people who you have never heard of. You remember that “cutie” from the bar and your whole body starts to vibrate from cringe.